Dear Boys,


Stop making excuses. Stop pretending. Stop dangling us. Stop taking advantage. Stop making everything about you. Stop trying to fix us.

Dear boys, and don’t read this and roll your eyes because as much as you love excuses, it’s true. You. Are. Not. Friend. Zoned. You’re our friend and we are so grateful that you are. Just because we are nice to you does NOT mean we owe you anything. Kindness does not equal flirting. Do not expect sex. Do not expect romantic attraction. Stop whining because every single girl may not be romantically or sexually attracted to you and start appreciating your friendships. Heck, some of us may not be attracted to you because you’re a boy. (And no, it is not because they haven’t met the right boy yet)


You’re so important to us.

Don’t let our anger or jokes or societies standards get to you. Society tells you who you’re supposed to be. You have to look like this and feel like that. You have to be strong. You have to be the knight. You have to be sexual and dominate. You don’t have control over your own body or your own mind. You are an animal. You have to be successful. You have to provide. You have to be dick but also a gentlemen.

None of this is true. Men, I understand your fight is a tough one to win. Impossible, even. Thank you for fighting. Thank you for fighting against the media and the porn industry and the idea of who you are supposed to be. Thank you for treating us well. Thank you for being you.

Dear men, you are not superior to us. We are not superior to you. You have a “role” you think you have to play. You don’t. You can if you want but you don’t have to. Remember to be who you are but don’t let your ego blow up. Your masculinity is not the most important thing about you and your ego is not as fragile as you think it is.

Dear men, we don’t need your saving. Some of us may want it but we are not depending on you to get through life. We can handle it. We just want you to handle it with us.



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