Dear next human getting married,

67954_10151378336943231_1220201761_nAlright first, I want to say congratulations. Mainly because I have to. People frown at you if you ignore the happy couple saying “I do”. I’m not sure why. People do it every day. Especially this season.

You know next weekend I literally have three weddings I’ve been invited to? Three. Do you realize how exhausting weddings are? I’d be dead before the third bride even walked down the aisle.

Dear bride, I know this is a big deal for you but I’m sorry the type of flower doesn’t matter nearly as much as you think it does. Also, no one likes wedding cake. They pretend to because they are supposed to but really, a good chocolate chip cookie would have been much better.

Dear engaged couple, pause. Take a breath. Remember why you are doing this. Don’t let the wedding and the demanding guests and in-laws take over your life. This is your life. Don’t turn into a bride-(or groom?)zilla.

Also, please, no conga line at your wedding. This is 2016 and Jesus is watching.

Dear actually next human getting married, not just an imaginative person I’ve created to write a funny blog post.

You happen to be my best friend. My person. My roommate (well not anymore. Thanks a lot, Josh.) I happen to be in your wedding (which means I can’t skip this one like I do all the others.

Dear Zoe, you are more amazing then I think you will ever truly understand You are a light that causes other people to have to where sunglasses around you, lest they go blind. You are a calming presence. You are a kind heart and a healing hand. You are wisdom that comes straight from the bible and a giant textbook. You are faith that is never lost. You are my person and I love you.

Weddings are stressful. You’re stressed. They are expensive and a hassle and so tiring.

But they are also beautiful. They are a promise and a party. You are beautiful. You are going to be so happy. So loved. You’re making a promise, gaining a new person, starting a new life.

Stress will always be around the corner, but you will always have someone to hold your hand and face it together.

Enjoy this moment. Enjoy this party. Enjoy saying “I do” and the dancing after and the (censored to keep a PG rating) after that. Enjoy.

I love you. I can’t wait to see you in a white dress, smiling up at the man God has brought you, and promising to follow Him with that man for the rest of your life.

1 thought on “Dear next human getting married,

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