his.

14324224_951674698289424_6069276409962481787_oIt was a Friday. Which Friday doesn’t matter. Any Friday. All Fridays. Every Friday.

Every day.

Pounding. That’s what I remember before anything else. The pounding in my head. It was like all my memories, all my desires, all my relationships I had stored away, were thrashing around in my head, fighting to get free.

I needed someone to talk them down.

I need peace.

Please. I called. I cried. I reached out. Help.

Nothing.

Help. Help. Help. Please.

My emotions were liquor. I had too much and I couldn’t stop.

I drank the emotions, sucked them down until the thrashing calmed.

Drink. More. Keep drinking until the voices silence.

The still air numbs my skin, my fingertips feel nothing as I reach for something, anything, to hold onto.

I tried after that. Work. Family. Lover. Nothing worked.

Hopeless. Worthless. Nothing.

It was suffocating. I was suffocating.

I was alone again.

They left me. No matter what I did, what I said, I would always be alone.

No one was there. I wasn’t even there.

Just the pounding.

That’s all I am. The pounding.

“I can’t do it anymore. It’s too much. I’m alone. I’m done.”

I’m done.

Goodnight.

The world is loud. My mind is louder. The pounding silences them all.

 

 

||Disclaimer: This work of fiction was originally featured on aknscRea.tumblr.com. his&HERS: the album,
Comes out Halloween 2016, on aknscRea.bandcamp. com.||

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