I feel like I’m fighting the air itself as it pushes out of my lungs, crushing my chest with the weight of the universe. I’m sweating, crying, yelling with frustration as I shove against a hundred year old tree, willing it to move an inch for me. I’m laying on the floor of the boxing ring. I’m bleeding. I can’t breath. I can’t fight anymore. I’ve lost.
I’ve never won a battle on my own. I’ve never defeated the invisible enemy that renders me immovable. I will never be victorious on my own. I’m not made for solitary victory. I’m destined for failure. Alone, without the gospel and the Lord, I am defeated. Continue reading →
Sometimes you need a vacation that isn’t even three days long and is filled with coffee. I call these “Pocket Vacations” because they’re so small they can fit in your poc- I take that back. I’m so sorry for this. I regret everything I’ve ever said.
ANYWAYS. I had one of these recently in Atlanta, Georgia. One of my good friends from high school (are you as surprised as I am that I had friends in high school?) moved to the big GA last year and so far she’s loving it. I thought “hey I could use this human to see a new city without having to pay for housing” and so I slid in her DMS.
With nowhere else to go, I drove to the base of a mountain and started climbing. My shoes weren’t made for the steep rocks and I slipped more times than I’d like to admit. There were no other people around; after all it’s the middle of a Tuesday on a hot summer’s day. No one in their right mind would be hiking right now.
I give it up to poetic justice when I reach up to grab hold of the rock and feel a sting in the tip of my fingers. I yank my hand back to see blood trickling down the palm and onto the hot stone below. Continue reading →