My throat burns and my cheeks are wet. With blood? With sweat? With tears? I close my eyes and push my hands against my face, shaking my head quickly so the strands of dirty hair fly wildly. I want to scream again but I can’t take a breath and without air, there’s not much you can do. I want to run but without space, there’s not very many places you can go.
I want it all to end but with so much love, you can’t justify ending anything at all.
Love. It’s love. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
“I love you!” He’s yelling. He’s crying. I’m not looking at him but I don’t have to be to hear the tears in his voice. I know them too well.
My hands are shaking when I drop them from my face and look back up at him. “You’re obsessed with me!”
“No, no no no no… I just love you. Ames-”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Amary. Please,” he dropped to his knees and reached out for my legs. I looked down at him, seeing the blood drop from his head where I had hit him. I look to the right to see the pictures he took. Me sleeping. Me laughing with my friends from across a fountain. My little sister climbing into my car. My face when he…
I look away, my breath hitching in my throat.
“I love you. You’re my everything. You…” He grabs my foot and I jump back as an electric current climbs up my legs. “I’d never hurt you.”
You’d never mean to, I think, you’d never want to.
He loves me. He worships me. I deserve to be cared for like this.
He’ll take care of me. He’ll love me forever. He’ll never let me out of his sight.
He’ll going to kill me.
I wish he’d kill me.
“I can’t,” I croak. He looks up, pure fear filling his eyes. “I can’t.” He shakes his head but I turn around and run for the front door.
I need to take a breath. I need space.
I need it all to end.