But I’m not scared.
If I fall, I won’t break. I’ll be caught. If I break, I’ll be put back together.
When I can’t see where the next step is, I still trust that it’s there. When I’m scared of what will jump at me from the dark, I know I will be safe, protected. Defended.
The Lord is your mighty defender, perfect and just in all his ways; Your God is faithful and true; he does what is right and fair.
Emily is currently at The Forge at Pine Cove and they were tasked with doing an identity project, wherein they get an ‘identity,’ which involves many different adjectives. Her’s was “resilient defender,” which I think greatly describes her. She defends the people she loves resiliently and gently. She is strong in her defense and her love. She reflects her Jesus.
Because isn’t our God our defender? The mightiest warrior there is who holds us, His children, tightly in his arms. He is love and gentle and strong and just.
I’m entering a new time in my life. I’ve graduated from college and taking my next step. I know very little of what my life is going to look like and while that can be frustrating, I’m rarely scared. This is not because I’m confident in my ability, but His.
I am confident only in my ability to consistently fail and need Jesus to hold me and light up my path. I am confident that I will fall and He will pick me up. That He will cultivate intimacy with me when I’m in pain. That He will give me peace when I inevitably drown in fear. I am confident that he is my Shepherd, my light, my safety, my resilient defender.
In three days I get on a flight to move to Orlando, Florida. I will live there with strangers for three months, studying the bible and hopefully building a community with people who have chosen to sacrifice their time and money to study the word of God and prepare for a light in the battlefield where we fight for the true King.
And I trust that I will fail and He will defend me.