The longest chapter in the Bible is Psalm 119. It has 176 verses and 174 of them mention God’s law, statutes, word, or scripture in one way or another. The longest chapter of the Bible is dedicated to the Bible itself.
Oh how I love your law!
It is my meditation all the day.
Great peace have those who love your law;
nothing can make them stumble.
Sometimes I feel like I rarely actually know what I’m reading when I read the word of God. I try to understand. I do research and study and read and re-read, but I’m still often left with wonderings, musings, and questions. And sometimes I adore the law. I love the scriptures. All I want to do is study it and learn from it and read it. But other days it is a chore to get myself to open the Bible. I want to do anything but read Jeremiah. Continue reading →
My mom is so strong. She is not afraid to show emotions, to be vulnerable, and to feel pain. She is also tough, secure, and a force to be reckoned with. (None of these thinks are mutually exclusive). She has had a hell of a year, from my dad getting sick to this last week when she lost her daddy, she has stood firm in the love of Jesus and her faith that God is good through and through.
I admire my mom. I want to be more like her.
When we lost Gaga, I was good for a while. I firmly believe that he is so happy right now and it’s a joyous thing to know that Gaga gets to spend time with the King, with the God he spent his life serving. I’m so happy for him and I feel so blessed to have known him, been his partner, and learned from him over the years. Continue reading →
Why, oh why, do I make things so difficult? Why do I give myself unnecessary work? Why, when I’m [hypothetically] walking down a path, do I see a turn that has been blocked off with large rocks and think, “hmm, here’s the direction I should go,” rather than continuing straight on the path that’s been lit up for me?
I don’t know about you, but the way I get places, whether it’s college or to a relationship or to a milestone in my relationship with the Lord, is always crooked and more difficult than it should be.
But I make it. And I am under NO delusion that I make it because of my own ability to follow a bath or to not fall or to succeed. The only reason I make it anywhere in life is because God has willed it. Continue reading →
[Disclaimer: This is a (relaxed, impersonal research) paper that is piggy-backing off of a semester of papers and conversations between myself and my professor, and is continued in a later paper.]
The most important theme when looking at Christian fantasy, or the Christian myth within fantasy, is sacrificial love, in my opinion. It is also the most significant aspect of the entire Harry Potter series. It is how Harry survived as a baby, how he continued to survive, how Dumbledore died and Harry (inadvertently) got the elder wand, and how Harry saved the Wizarding world. Lily dies to save Harry, Dumbledore dies for the greater good, and Harry dies to save all, each sacrifice made out of love. Even Snape, in his own way, died for the woman he loved (and, by proxy, her son). Each of these, in their own ways, reflect the greatest gift of sacrificial love ever: when Jesus died on the cross. Continue reading →
I was recently talking to a friend about being vulnerable. Or, rather, not being vulnerable. It’s no secret that I’m not good at it. I hide my past, my pain, my failures, my shame, and my fears. I hide them until I can make them pretty and polished enough to post on this blog. Until they’re no longer ugly and sensitive, but scarred over and complete with a bow, ready to be presented to anyone who will pay attention.
I was given a challenge by my friend – Next time I write in my journal, share it. With no edits, just raw and vulnerable truth. Continue reading →
I’ve been thinking about what to get for a while now. I want one with my mom and I want a ship and some lines from “City of Hope” by Amanda Cook. I want a dragon and a snake and a million other things. But I’d been putting off what was next because nothing felt like the perfect thing to get now.
Then, a few months ago, our family got some sad news. Just a few weeks after my dad made his recovery, we heard that my grandpa, my mom’s incredible father, was diagnosed with a tumor on his brain. We were given a plan and an expected time frame.
Suddenly it became very real about how much time I have with the people I love. Continue reading →
You might be in pain. You might be battling sickness. You may be suffering a loss. You may feel insecure. Lost about the future. Worried about your child or your friend. You may suffer from anxiety or depression or helplessness. You may feel dragged down with guilt or struggles you can’t seem to overcome.
You might be in the middle of the storm.
But remember three words that Jesus once spoke that still apply today: “Peace. Be still!”
Your pain is not too big for God. And your pain will not be pointless. The storm may not end how you want it to, but it will end, and God will bring beauty out of the pain.
How often do you feel you need to be in control of life? In control of what happens tomorrow, in control of what grade you make, in control of your job, in control of your relationships, in control of your weight, in control of how the world sees you. Continue reading →
The fear that you’re not supposed to be moving so quickly, so assuredly to an unforgiving landing. Uncertain if the land will leave you with breath in your lungs or intact bones in your legs. The release of the pressure that is standing, keeping yourself whole and unbroken and tall and strong. Vulnerable because you are no longer standing and strong, but defenseless to the ground that is rushing up to meet you with a smile of disaster.
Falling usually ends in breaking, in disaster, in needing to be fixed.
But sometimes falling is good. It’s fun, thrilling. When you fall out of an airplane and feel that rush of excitement in the bottom of your gut. When adrenaline is fire in your veins before you pull the string to release the parachute. Continue reading →
I started this blog over five years ago with this post. I was about to go to YWAM in Kona, Hawaii for some of the best seven months of my life. I was getting ready to catalogue everything I learned while at YWAM, everything Jesus did, what I saw and who I met and what was happening in my life. I was 17, about to leave home for the first time to live across the ocean from my family. I knew it was going to be a crazy time in my life and I wanted to have a written history I could return to just as much as I wanted to share my experiences.
Look how cute I was in 2013
I’ve had this blog through my entire college career. That first semester spent in Hawaii and Amsterdam getting to know myself, Jesus, his world, and making him known. I had it when I started college in Fayetteville, when I entered the worst two years of my life (all fault my own for that dark period), the faithfulness of Jesus when I left the dangerous situation I got myself in, the year I took off of school and lived at home and worked full time. I had the blog when I grudgingly enrolled at A&M, my dad almost died, I worked in news, and now. Finally my last semester of college.