The Time in Between

photosI found this photo on Pinterest and I’m pretty sure the credit goes to these guys. It seems to perfectly encompass what I feel these days. The time in between.

Slow motion. Blurred. Still and alone.

There’s this weird period a lot of us go through where we’ve finished college or school or whatever it is but don’t have our next step lined up yet.

If we’re lucky, we get to live at home with good parents while we figure it out. Or maybe we have a significant other we move in with. If not, it gets a little harder.

We apply to jobs, ones we really want but don’t get, and ones we don’t want but need. We apply to entry-level positions and we reach out to any connection we might have. We scour LinkedIn and Indeed and job search sites. Continue reading

Searching

IMG_9710I’m really really tired.

Exhausted.

And not because I have a lot of stuff going on in my life. Actually, sort of the opposite.

On a personal level, I’m in one of the hardest transitioning periods ever. I think people tried to warn me with “Leaving College is hard,” and “Transitioning to adult life is challenging,” but I literally always went deaf to these warnings.

Not because I didn’t trust them, but because I wasn’t worried. I was in a great place, I knew what I wanted to do, I had/have tremendous trust and faith in God, and honestly, I just never really struggled when life changed dramatically. I craved change and handled it in stride. I found jobs and passions so easily I didn’t realize how hard it can be and usually is. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening.

Now that I’m here, job searching, church searching, apartment searching, friend searching, soul searching, I’m tired. Continue reading

In My Darkest Days

39786331_10212593599581733_6465181104931340288_nI started this blog over five years ago with this post. I was about to go to YWAM in Kona, Hawaii for some of the best seven months of my life. I was getting ready to catalogue everything I learned while at YWAM, everything Jesus did, what I saw and who I met and what was happening in my life. I was 17, about to leave home for the first time to live across the ocean from my family. I knew it was going to be a crazy time in my life and I wanted to have a written history I could return to just as much as I wanted to share my experiences.

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Look how cute I was in 2013

I’ve had this blog through my entire college career. That first semester spent in Hawaii and Amsterdam getting to know myself, Jesus, his world, and making him known. I had it when I started college in Fayetteville, when I entered the worst two years of my life (all fault my own for that dark period), the faithfulness of Jesus when I left the dangerous situation I got myself in, the year I took off of school and lived at home and worked full time. I had the blog when I grudgingly enrolled at A&M, my dad almost died, I worked in news, and now. Finally my last semester of college.

Continue reading

A Short Update

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I’m so salty about this.

With blisters covering my feet and drooping eyelids, I laid down on a hotel bed and turned on the T.V. Harry Potter was playing and my mom handed me my taco from the famous ‘Fuegos’.

College Station. My future home.

To be fair, I was in a hotel room and not my leased townhouse. I also only had two outfits in my suitcase rather than enough for an entire year. I was only in the town for a few days for the dreaded ‘New Student Conference’.

I hated that I had to attend those dumb meetings filled with hundreds of freshman. I’m a senior. I know what I’m doing. I’ve been in college for three years. I’ve worked with professors, written final papers, and figured out the layout of the campus. I found the best places to eat breakfast and lunch, discovered the quietest studying corner on campus, and met friends in all my classes. I know what I’m doing.  Continue reading

Dear Professor,

profeliWait, what? No, seriously, what? Can you repeat that? Are you even speaking English right now?

“No. I’m your Spanish teacher.”

HAHA. That was funny. I did a funny thing to start this blog post. Mainly because I’m sleep deprived. So this is going to be rough.

Dear professor,

Could you work a little harder to spread out our work? I get that you just want to get the information across and then you realize you need grades for the class, but honestly, a week of papers, exams and quizzes is exhausting. I just spent a month doing nothing and all the sudden I can’t sleep for a week? Seriously. Continue reading

Dear students,

1933187_10208531934399922_4119089662507764177_oSchool just started. I know this isn’t news to you, and the reminder probably is making you grumble and roll your eyes. Just know that you’re waking up early and trudging to class for a reason. You may forget what that reason is, especially after a professor shows up with a pop quiz or tells you your first exam is next week, I mean come one, we just started. But try to remind yourself why you’re there. Whether it’s high school or college, you’re learning and you have this opportunity that so many people will never have.

Take advantage of the resources given to you. Used books, bus schedules, coffee. Drink that coffee.  Continue reading

Simple Bias.

12314085_10208395101339181_724874129530289869_nToday, in class, my teacher quoted a friend of his, another professor at a different university. “I never believed that I was imposing my views on blank slates.”

This was referencing the argument people made that he shouldn’t give his college-aged students his own opinions, beliefs, and experiences when teaching. He was told that he must remain neutral in a classroom, especially while discussing literature and philosophy. He was there only to deliver the facts to other humans, not ‘impose his views’ onto them.

He countered, saying, “if we really want to be unbiased, let’s be clear about our biases.” His point was that no one is truly and utterly unbiased about anything. Continue reading

Growing Into Life After Home

Growing up means many different things. More experience, more responsibility, more places to see and people to meet. It means figuring out the world for yourself. It means discovering how the world works and how you can work it. It means figuring out who people are versus who they say they are.

It means figuring out who you are. Continue reading

I promise I’m not an airhead.

11312634_10204163180511682_7682084179501694258_oIf you knew me when I was a kid, then you are most likely surprised that I joined a sorority when I came to college. I was that girl that would cry when my mom told me to wear a dress. I wanted to buy ALL of my clothes out of the boys department. I absolutely hated pictures, and music, and princesses, and anything my sisters loved. (Sorry guys…) I really could not have been more of a tom boy. Continue reading

This can’t be right…

11312634_10204163180511682_7682084179501694258_oEverybody has expectations. We have expectations about how delicious our evening meal will be and high expectations for that new movie. We assume that our family vacation is going to be the best one yet. We expect to look like a supermodel after three weeks of sporadic exercising. (All the while sneaking cookies before bed) We expect to wake up early and be productive and go to sleep earlier than we did the night before. We assume that we won’t be asked about our non-exsistant significant other this year at the family holidays. (Thanks grandpa…) It doesn’t matter what it is, we will have expectations about it. Sometimes our expectations will be met, but usually the reality is much different. Continue reading