Processing Trauma

paris5The Paris hospital hallway probably wasn’t as long as I remember it being. In reality, it took us 30 seconds to walk down the hallway to my dad’s room. In my memory, that was a 20 minute walk. It was up a hill and through a wind storm and under a screaming sun. It was a hike incomparable to my long distance runs.

The smocks we had to wear, the paper gowns that pretended to keep out germs, took maybe 10 seconds to get on. They felt like a light bristle against my skin, not like a heavy weighted quilt that took five minutes to pull on, which is what seems to be in my memory. Continue reading

Advertisements

Haley, Meg, CJ, Emily…

picsI’m trying to find words. I feel this urgency to find them because it’s what I do, it’s my thing. I find the words that become hard to find and I write them down. That’s my gift and how I manage.

But it’s getting harder to find words that merit being shared about this situation. If I’m being honest, even though we keep getting good news and we are being so encouraged and supported, I’m finding it difficult to sit down and write something that’s worthy of being read.

I can’t seem to explain.

Then I Face-Timed with Zoe for a while and realized I didn’t have to fully explain because it could never fully be understood, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t try. Continue reading

Book Review: Room

Screen Shot 2017-11-17 at 11.23.06 PM.pngTold from the perspective of five-year-old Jack, Room, written by Emma Donoghue, takes readers on an exciting, emotional journey. The novel opens up to the morning of Jack’s fifth birthday in “Room” where Jack and his mother, “Ma”, have lived for his entire life. Readers explore this world in Room through the eyes of Jack, seeing everything as if it were the entire universe, which is what Ma told him. However, the need to be free after eight years being imprisoned drives Ma to come up with an escape plan. This involves Jack feigning his own death and running from “Old Nick,” their captor, after jumping from his truck. During his “Great Escape,” Jack is able to get away and explain to the cops what happened to him and Ma. The police save her and arrest Old Nick. The story, far from over, continues to follow Jack as he discovers the outside world. Readers see both Jack and Ma deal with the trauma, fear, confusion, and consequences of what they went through. The themes touch on the troubles of one’s reality completely altering, positionality, and rape. Continue reading