Swimming in Secrets

IMG_1928When I was a kid, single digits, my biggest sin was lying. I loved it. It was a game for me. I wanted to see how cool of a lie I could come up with. My fake lives were more fun and adventurous than my real one.

And I would play with lying. I knew my parents could see through my deception so I came up with a plan. To this day I think it worked more often than it didn’t but who knows? Memory colors in favor of the reliver.

I started lying poorly about small things I didn’t care about. The hope was my family would think that is how I lied. That way, when there was something bigger I actually wanted to get away with, I could lie well and they wouldn’t catch on.

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Being Honest

madison_street5_editBeing honest is immensely more difficult than being right.

Being honest is better than suffocating loneliness.

Being honest is just as important as being nice.

Being honest is better than being a broken mess.

Let’s get something clear: when I say “being honest” I am in NO way talking about being mean, or being unnecessarily harsh, or being a jerk and calling it “honesty.” Insulting people for no reason is not justified under the umbrella of “honesty.” In fact, I’m not even talking about being honest about other people. I’m talking about being honest to other people. Continue reading

Dear Future

14884702_10207637245595981_384251857058761294_o“Look ahead” they say. “It only will get better.”

They warn you about being stuck in your past, encourage you to move on to the future.

Well, You’re my future.

But you have to know about my past.  Finding yourself, being true to who you are and who you want, is the most difficult thing you’ll ever do.

At least that’s the case in my story.

I thought it would be great.  Continue reading

I am not my nicknames.

12439069_10205515881803212_6795568949325753368_nI was hanging out with two of my closest friends the other day, and I realized how thankful I was for them. I’ve only known them for a couple months but their friendship means so much to me.

That’s when I grasped how afraid I was that the end of our friendship was coming.

“I hope you guys know that you’re stuck with me for at least the next two years.” I let them know.

“What?” Continue reading