Imposter Syndrome

I live with this crushing weight many call “Imposter Syndrome,” which is basically the insecurity that no matter how successful I am, I’ll always be afraid it’s a mistake. That I’m just not good enough for this success. Or, according to Wikipedia (stellar reference right there) it is “the psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments or talents and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.”

In short, it’s the fear that I’ll never be good enough and soon, everyone else will see it too.

The painful silver lining to this predicament is that I’m not alone. Most people will have this fear, insecurity, or syndrome at least once in their life. Maybe you, random stranger hopefully reading this, are feeling that now. Or have in the past. Well, you’re not alone.

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I am not my nicknames.

12439069_10205515881803212_6795568949325753368_nI was hanging out with two of my closest friends the other day, and I realized how thankful I was for them. I’ve only known them for a couple months but their friendship means so much to me.

That’s when I grasped how afraid I was that the end of our friendship was coming.

“I hope you guys know that you’re stuck with me for at least the next two years.” I let them know.

“What?” Continue reading

Biggest Insecurity.

12240140_10205228792106149_9085093614921235991_nI’ve been thinking recently about people’s voices. Today, it’s easy to say what you want through media, anonymous websites, behind computer screens, ect. You can shout into the void all you want and have a temporary satisfaction from actually saying what has been bouncing around in your head for days on end. You have something to say, and thanks to the internet, you have somewhere to say it. You’re shouting, ranting, commenting, blogging (irony) and the satisfaction is instant but brief.

The void doesn’t always yell back. Continue reading