2020 LINGERS

“Trauma in a person, decontextualized over time, looks like personality.

Trauma in a family, decontextualized over time, looks like family traits.

Trauma in a people, decontextualized over time, looks like culture.”

-Resmaa Menakem

LOCKDOWN & QUARANTINE

Depression & Anxiety

The Office of National Statistics in the UK has found that rates of depression have doubled. Fatigue, anxiety, a lack of cues, and fewer social interactions all play into the rise of depression and anxiety.

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A Look Inside an ADHD Mind

PART ONE: THE BASICS

ADHD isn’t a character flaw. It’s a developmental disorder of the brain. Some of the symptoms of adults with ADHD are:

  • Trouble completing and organizing tasks
  • Frequently losing important belongings
  • Forgetfulness and distraction
  • Restlessness and Impulsivity
  • Difficulty following details
  • Impatience
  • Strong, sometimes inappropriate emotion
  • Obsessive behaviors
  • Poor memory

ADHD, anxiety, mood disorders, autism, and other conditions are not single or simple disorders.
They all have multiple types. ADD affects many areas of the brain and can manifest in many different ways.

Experts agree there are about 7 main types of ADHD.

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Loving Those With Mental Illnesses

Beware of Spiritual Bypassing

SB is the use of spiritual ideas to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and societal problems. Basically, it’s the use of religious words, theologies, or cliches to invalidate or avoid addressing the actual issue.

When spirituality and religion are used to compensate for challenging traits such as low self-esteem, social isolation, mental health issues, social issues like racism or sexism, or other emotional issues, they corrupt the actual use of the spiritual practice.

Some examples include:

  • “It doesn’t matter who is president, Jesus is always in control.”
  • “Everything happens for a reason.”
  • “I don’t see color.” & “All Lives Matter.”
  • “Try focusing on the positive!”
  • “Don’t be anxious, just trust God!”
  • “Rely on God and you won’t be so tired.”
  • “You shouldn’t feel lonely. God is always with you.”
  • “Have you prayed about it?”
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Practicing Self-Care

IMG_1627I’ve been thinking a lot about self-care recently. Mostly because I’ve had to for work, therapy, and because a friend of mine coaches it. But, as usual, these thoughts have bled their way into every little aspect of my life. It’s a tape in a constant loop in the back of my head, whether I hear it or not, I know it’s there.

On a global level, self-care is extremely prevalent right now. Which makes sense when we’re locked up in our houses with mostly ourselves. We’re FORCED to care for ourselves. Continue reading

Diagnosed

Me Christmas 2019Please, for the love of all that is Netflix, don’t comment “Is this a surprise to anyone?” under this blog post.

Because, yes, yes it is a surprise to me. And it’s so frustrating that this took almost TWENTY-FOUR YEARS for someone to tell me.

Let’s backtrack.

Over a month ago, I went to a new therapist for the first time and asked her why I can’t remember half my life, why I have so much trouble following people who are talking to me, and why I focus better while playing a dumb, mindless game on my phone.

“Has anyone ever tested you for ADHD?” Continue reading

I’m a Failure

IMG_8155I was recently talking to a friend about being vulnerable. Or, rather, not being vulnerable. It’s no secret that I’m not good at it. I hide my past, my pain, my failures, my shame, and my fears. I hide them until I can make them pretty and polished enough to post on this blog. Until they’re no longer ugly and sensitive, but scarred over and complete with a bow, ready to be presented to anyone who will pay attention.

I was given a challenge by my friend – Next time I write in my journal, share it. With no edits, just raw and vulnerable truth. Continue reading

Defeated and Victorious

Tree I feel like I’m fighting the air itself as it pushes out of my lungs, crushing my chest with the weight of the universe. I’m sweating, crying, yelling with frustration as I shove against a hundred year old tree, willing it to move an inch for me. I’m laying on the floor of the boxing ring. I’m bleeding. I can’t breath. I can’t fight anymore. I’ve lost.

I’ve never won a battle on my own. I’ve never defeated the invisible enemy that renders me immovable. I will never be victorious on my own. I’m not made for solitary victory. I’m destined for failure. Alone, without the gospel and the Lord, I am defeated.  Continue reading