Searching

IMG_9710I’m really really tired.

Exhausted.

And not because I have a lot of stuff going on in my life. Actually, sort of the opposite.

On a personal level, I’m in one of the hardest transitioning periods ever. I think people tried to warn me with “Leaving College is hard,” and “Transitioning to adult life is challenging,” but I literally always went deaf to these warnings.

Not because I didn’t trust them, but because I wasn’t worried. I was in a great place, I knew what I wanted to do, I had/have tremendous trust and faith in God, and honestly, I just never really struggled when life changed dramatically. I craved change and handled it in stride. I found jobs and passions so easily I didn’t realize how hard it can be and usually is. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening.

Now that I’m here, job searching, church searching, apartment searching, friend searching, soul searching, I’m tired. Continue reading

How Did I Get Here?

fullsizerenderWhy, oh why, do I make things so difficult? Why do I give myself unnecessary work? Why, when I’m [hypothetically] walking down a path, do I see a turn that has been blocked off with large rocks and think, “hmm, here’s the direction I should go,” rather than continuing straight on the path that’s been lit up for me?

I don’t know about you, but the way I get places, whether it’s college or to a relationship or to a milestone in my relationship with the Lord, is always crooked and more difficult than it should be.

But I make it. And I am under NO delusion that I make it because of my own ability to follow a bath or to not fall or to succeed. The only reason I make it anywhere in life is because God has willed it. Continue reading