Panic, Puppies, and Promises.

picsAs with any post that contains incredibly personal themes, I must preface the blog with this: I am okay and I do not want you to ask me if I’m okay or talk about my mental health to other people without my permission. Good? Good.

So here’s the story.

I woke up and the weather app told me that today was going to be the best day in a couple months. The temperature was a glorious number of 64 degrees and I had my favorite class later. It was going to be a perfect day.

Wrong.  Continue reading

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Young Ignorance and Adventure

21078830_10210094010933579_3042036252880962403_nMy fingers were cold and stiff, covered in mud and growing numb to the increasing wind. I used a stick to dig, uncovering the long metal pieces. Despite it still being early in the day, the sky was losing light quickly. I whipped around at the sound of crashing. A tree not far away had broken at the base and fallen.

A small hurricane was underway. I, being young, stupid, and obsessed with crazy adventures, had no plans on seeking refuge indoors. The creek beside my house was filled with trees, many of which were dead and threatening to fall under the force of strong wind. If I truly valued my safety, I would have already been inside, warming up and sitting on the couch with my sister. However, there was an old sewing machine buried in the bank of the creek and this discovery would lead to riches my small brain had never known. (In reality, I would uncover an old Bartlett Sewing Machine that would be broken in many places and no more valuable than a rusted piece of metal.) Continue reading

The Glass

21077224_10210045709286068_6398435211009267583_n“Is your glass half full or half empty?”

Well, fictional person I created to start an imaginary conversation for the purpose of making a point, it really depends on the past condition of the glass.

I always had trouble with the “Are you a glass half full or half empty” concept because my answer seemed to be “it depends” every time. It depends on how the glass got to that point.

See, a glass isn’t always one or the other. If water (or wine…) was just poured to the top and someone drank half of it, then the glass is now half empty. Alternately, if the glass was just filled to the current level, then it is half full. You can’t look at something and, with no knowledge of it’s past or it’s circumstances, decide it’s current condition. Its’s just too relative for that. So the answer to the question is going to change with every different circumstance.

It’s relative to the beholder.  Continue reading

Daenerys Targaryen, Draco Malfoy, and Me

19665600_10209655623734173_6233377839763630975_nDiscovering myself is one of my favorite things to do, no matter how untrue or lame it may be. Meyers briggs, Buzzfeed quizzes, deep conversations with people who know me well, no matter the form of discovery, I’ll enjoy it. The amount of quizzes titled “Decorate your dream apartment and we will tell you which disney princess you are” I’ve taken is honestly way too many to count. I know those are highly inaccurate and honestly stupid, but I enjoy them. I read the descriptions and nod at the sentences that are accurate and roll my eyes at the farfetched ones. (I’m Belle, in case any of you were wondering) Despite the unscientific, random aspects of the quizzes, they still help me discover who I am a bit more. And for the longest time, I had no idea who I was.  Continue reading

A Short Update

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I’m so salty about this.

With blisters covering my feet and drooping eyelids, I laid down on a hotel bed and turned on the T.V. Harry Potter was playing and my mom handed me my taco from the famous ‘Fuegos’.

College Station. My future home.

To be fair, I was in a hotel room and not my leased townhouse. I also only had two outfits in my suitcase rather than enough for an entire year. I was only in the town for a few days for the dreaded ‘New Student Conference’.

I hated that I had to attend those dumb meetings filled with hundreds of freshman. I’m a senior. I know what I’m doing. I’ve been in college for three years. I’ve worked with professors, written final papers, and figured out the layout of the campus. I found the best places to eat breakfast and lunch, discovered the quietest studying corner on campus, and met friends in all my classes. I know what I’m doing.  Continue reading

You are worth it.

18195141_10209428602138775_8216928352892482649_nYou make a difference every day.

Every smile.

Every ‘are you okay’?

Every piece of art.

It makes a difference.

And don’t let anyone tell you different. Who you are is a hero to someone. You lead your story, and you can control that story. Who you are is special, strong, creative and great. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Family members don’t know you better than you know you. Lies don’t get to tell you your worth. Your friends don’t get to decide your worth for you and neither do strangers on the subway. Continue reading

How Do I love?

picsWhen gift giving is a joy and not a burden, I know I’m in a good place.

I’ve found I show love best by giving presents. Much to my bank accounts despair, I adore spending money on the people I love. A random bouquet of flowers to show my friends I’m proud of them, a mug referencing our favorite TV show to congratulate them, the pair of leggings they’ve wanted for months to say ‘happy birthday, go on a run.’
If you hate spending money on ‘useless’ presents, don’t think this blog is calling you out. Gift giving is not how everyone shows love, anyways. You may show love through spending time with people, serving them, or just simple words of affirmation, all of which are completely valid. I, on the other hand, give gifts to tell someone I admire them.

Continue reading

My Pet Dragon

picsA swallow that’s just a smidge too loud. A laugh of someone in the room next door. Pages turning sound like hurricanes. The air is too hot. Your clothes are too heavy. Someone sniffs. How dare they?

Sometimes every little thing, every corner of the earth, has a single goal: to piss you off.

It’s easy to say, “I’m just irritated”. To brush it off like it were a fly landing on your cupcake.

But somehow, that fly has turned into a fuming dragon settling on top of your life, breathing in your air and out fire that burns your hair.

How does no one else see the dragon perched on your shoulders? Continue reading

“Future Everything” Takes NY.

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In December of 2016 I had the opportunity to visit “the greatest city in the world” with the greatest traveling partners in the world.

 

Meet the crew, known as “Future Everything”. We consist of a high-strung photographer, a diabetic closeted artist, a Broadway-crazed wannabe, and an obscenely blunt future Harpers Magazine writer. Continue reading

Halloween in November

15871719_10208170781854054_6750330212750455719_nThe month of November.

Thanksgiving, Christmas shopping, finals studying and jumping in piles of leaves. Also Alicia’s birthday month, but what a lot of writers know November as is something much different, and much more horrifying than anything Halloween brought that year.

NaNoWriMo.

Also known as National November Writing Month.

What is NaNoWriMo? Basically, it’s a non profit organization, a challenge, and a writers wonderful, terrifying party. Continue reading