Practicing Self-Care

IMG_1627I’ve been thinking a lot about self-care recently. Mostly because I’ve had to for work, therapy, and because a friend of mine coaches it. But, as usual, these thoughts have bled their way into every little aspect of my life. It’s a tape in a constant loop in the back of my head, whether I hear it or not, I know it’s there.

On a global level, self-care is extremely prevalent right now. Which makes sense when we’re locked up in our houses with mostly ourselves. We’re FORCED to care for ourselves. Continue reading

Your Identity and Your Place

art

ArtbyMonday

During this historical and monumental time, it can be easy to get lost in the news, social media, and your own mind and heart. It’s hard to find the correct voices to listen to in a sea of opinions, pain, and information. The world feels like a stormy maze where around every corner is another piece of advice or something to grieve over.

But perhaps the most difficult thing to do is figure what your place will be in history.

My desire is that everyone finds justice, peace, and hope this year. As an Enneagram type eight, I tend to stand radically and forcibly on the side of justice. I advocate for speaking out. My instinct is to listen to Alexander Hamilton and make Lin Manuel Miranda proud.

If you stand for nothing, what’ll you fall for?  Continue reading

Beauty in Books

book“I forgot how much I love this world man. I feel like I didn’t appreciate this book well enough the first time and now it’s just crushing my heart with hope and joy”

“Isn’t that the beauty of books though? Just rams your soul with hope and emotions that you (I) usually run from”

That’s a conversation that is fairly normal among me and my reader friends. We live in a whirlpool of books, throwing our favorites at each other to eventually create a petri dish of the same universes, characters, relationships, and words. We crave a new world, new pain, new hope, new love. Hunger for masterfully woven words fills our bones. It’s an unquenchable thirst that will occasionally feel satisfied. A best friend will throw me a story that ripped them apart and I’ll devour it until I’m stuffed and hungover from the intoxicating tale. Continue reading

Tourist of Faith

Tree2I don’t know what sort of faith Adolf Hitler had. He was born to a practicing Catholic mother and was baptized in the Roman Catholic Church. From a young age, he expressed disbelief and hostility to Christianity. And he obviously was hostile towards Judaism. Hitler wanted to reduce the influence of Christianity. It seems to me, he didn’t need God because he wanted to be god. His faith was in his own power.

Sometimes I don’t know what sort of faith I have. I think I do, I hope I do, but I’m always wondering. I visit the faith I want, treating it like a vacation destination. When I’m in pain, I tour a church. When I doubt, I read the plaque of faith, hoping it will give me all the answers. But I’ll leave and return home to the place I know well. Where I don’t need God because I can be god.

Continue reading

Talitha Cumi – PUBLISHED

FullSizeRender-1-1HERE IT IS FOLKS.

My first ever published book.

If you’ve read and enjoyed ANY of my blogs, then I think you’ll love this book. Especially if you’re favorite posts are the more personal/vulnerable/emotional ones.

A quick history of Talitha Cumi

In early 2019, I did a 3 month school with YWAM Orlando where we studied the Bible in-depth. During that time, I wrote a series of essays (like blog posts) that I felt the Lord was telling me NOT to post.

Because of this, I ended up writing about some really personal and vulnerable things that I would never have shared on my blog. Continue reading

Constant in Uncertainty

MYENGAGEMENT-6I guess I’m at the point where I’m writing one blog a month. Big bummer but it’s better than nothing. I trust you all have also been in seasons of life when doing your normal things is just too hard. You don’t remember how you did everything six months ago because now going to the store is pretty much an all-day activity.

Anyway, life goes on and the cool thing is, God is always the same. He doesn’t go through those seasons of life. He is constant and always God.

I was talking to a friend of mine about John 2 the other day because she was planning a talk for her church. At one point, she asked “How do you understand John 2:24-25?” and I had to consider that for a moment.  Continue reading

Kingdoms I’ve Found

★彡 edmund pevensie aesthetic | narnia aesthetic 彡★Recently while reading the Book of Daniel, something hit me that I have never fully felt in my heart.

What kingdoms have I found in this world? What king has made me feel safe? What kingdoms have I longed to be a part of?

In Daniel, the kingdoms of this world exist by God’s decree. Daniel and those who are faithful live in the kingdom of this world and are simultaneously obedient to the Lord of Heaven, living as the saints of the Most High, citizens of a heavenly kingdom.

The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ

-Revelation 11-15

Continue reading

When I Try To Be God

madison_brick wall2_editOver and over in my life, I see moments of pain and failure than can be traced back to one grievous mistake:

I tried to take all control. I tried to be my own god.

One of the most recent moments is this summer. I was living at home in Greenville, TX, feeling directionless and lost. I wanted something to happen. I felt discouraged having turned down two jobs without really knowing why. I wasn’t getting anywhere and I didn’t have the finances to move somewhere on my own. So, I made an executive decision to move in with my friend in Little Rock. There was no real reason other than I had friends there, rent was cheap, and it wasn’t Greenville. Continue reading

Swimming in Secrets

IMG_1928When I was a kid, single digits, my biggest sin was lying. I loved it. It was a game for me. I wanted to see how cool of a lie I could come up with. My fake lives were more fun and adventurous than my real one.

And I would play with lying. I knew my parents could see through my deception so I came up with a plan. To this day I think it worked more often than it didn’t but who knows? Memory colors in favor of the reliver.

I started lying poorly about small things I didn’t care about. The hope was my family would think that is how I lied. That way, when there was something bigger I actually wanted to get away with, I could lie well and they wouldn’t catch on.

Continue reading

Jesus is My Champion

IMG_9717Remember in season four of Game of Thrones when Tyrion was on trial and he demanded trial by combat but no one would fight for him? Prince Oberyn (remember? The slutty pansexual sand prince?) ended up doing it for his own personal revenge but no one wanted to fight specifically for Tyrion. To save his life and clear his name. No one wanted to lose their life for him. No one thought him worth it. Not even his own brother.

Tyrion was facing death and he was alone because no one would be his champion.

Sometimes I realize I’m Tyrion. Imprisoned, facing death, sneered at and looked down upon, with no one to be my champion.

I think a lot of us can relate to this. Not on a crazy Game of Thrones level, of course, but we can feel alone. Like we have no champion. Continue reading