Dear next human getting married,

67954_10151378336943231_1220201761_nAlright first, I want to say congratulations. Mainly because I have to. People frown at you if you ignore the happy couple saying “I do”. I’m not sure why. People do it every day. Especially this season.

You know next weekend I literally have three weddings I’ve been invited to? Three. Do you realize how exhausting weddings are? I’d be dead before the third bride even walked down the aisle.

Dear bride, I know this is a big deal for you but I’m sorry the type of flower doesn’t matter nearly as much as you think it does. Also, no one likes wedding cake. They pretend to because they are supposed to but really, a good chocolate chip cookie would have been much better. Continue reading

Advertisements