It was almost 10:30. I’d been driving for hours, 13 hours go be exact, when the sky started to sparkle. One after another sparks of color shot into the sky and exploded in a puff of glittering light. I was enamored.
I watched the fireworks, eyes drifting from the road. They were so… random. It was the beginning of march, no date the world was celebrating. No reason to use such an extravagant form of celebration.
I watched them in the distance sparkle, shout, and explode. I had to reach them soon, right? I was driving towards them. They had to come from somewhere.
I was never a big “flower person”. I’m still not. I love nature and I love flowers and greenery and gardens but I don’t know a lot about them. I don’t know the different flowers or what type thrives and which climate. For the longest time I didn’t even have an answer to the question “what’s your favorite flower?” Because the only flowers I could think of were roses and daisies and those weren’t my favorites.
But I’ve finally found my answer to that question and that’s succulents.
I always thought that your favorite flower was a good way to know the kind of person you are. Continue reading →
Therapy. Doctors. Endless conversations. Even a hypnotist once.
“You’re in shock.” “You’ve experienced great tragedy and loss.” “Trauma plagues you every day.” “You need help.” “What you’ve experienced follows you every day.” “You’re demons will never leave you.” “Broken, you’re broken.”
Broken. Broken. Broken.
I don’t remember what it’s like to have a normal beating heart. Most people don’t think about it. The way your heart thumps in your chest. Most normal people don’t realize every pump of blood being surged through your body. Continue reading →
It was a Friday. Which Friday doesn’t matter. Any Friday. All Fridays. Every Friday.
Pounding. That’s what I remember before anything else. The pounding in my head. It was like all my memories, all my desires, all my relationships I had stored away, were thrashing around in my head, fighting to get free.
Her voice purred, lingering in my ears more than the loudest song. She blinked, eyelashes painting her cheek in a swift motion. I watched her skin pull against her muscles, screaming strength and scaring away cowardice. She walked with grace, feet constantly balanced, aware of the world around her.
You’re unsure if you should approach, her beauty intimating you into surrender. Your body screams at you to reach out, touch her, feel her soft coat under your fingertips. You hold your hand back, clenching it into a fist to stifle the desire. She bares her teeth and you take a step back. She dares you to come closer, enter her space, become one in her world. Try it. Try to tame her.
I dare you.
She is pure, clean, and fierce, a beautiful contradiction. A being of opposites. A creature of habit afraid of change. She is gentle, strong, cautious and brave. Her soft purr is louder than the most powerful roar.
She watches me, making me want to stand up straight and follow her into a den of danger. I would give her my life. Allow her to move me forward. Close my eyes. Blindly follow. She smiles, glistening teeth brighter than stars. Magnificent beauty that I can’t seem to wrap into words.
I’m not one to easily believe fortune cookies. I mean, they are cookies. Not even tasty cookies, if I’m being honest. Usually I open the cookie just to laugh at the fortune, maybe jump back to my twelve-year-old days and add ‘in bed’ at the end to get a good laugh. This time, I needed to believe the fortune.
Something you lost…
This could be anything. It had to be something. I lost my watch last week. That thing is more expensive than my wife. If she knew I lost it, she would kill me. Continue reading →
“Max! Max! Ms. Burnsky said we have a meeting. Do you think someone is coming to meet us?” I yelled, throwing open the door to our small bedroom. Max was laying on her back, hands crossed over her stomach, staring at the ceiling. She looked like she was waiting for death. It was freaky. I poked at her. “Max…”
I’ve been thinking recently about people’s voices. Today, it’s easy to say what you want through media, anonymous websites, behind computer screens, ect. You can shout into the void all you want and have a temporary satisfaction from actually saying what has been bouncing around in your head for days on end. You have something to say, and thanks to the internet, you have somewhere to say it. You’re shouting, ranting, commenting, blogging (irony) and the satisfaction is instant but brief.