Haley, Meg, CJ, Emily…

picsI’m trying to find words. I feel this urgency to find them because it’s what I do, it’s my thing. I find the words that become hard to find and I write them down. That’s my gift and how I manage.

But it’s getting harder to find words that merit being shared about this situation. If I’m being honest, even though we keep getting good news and we are being so encouraged and supported, I’m finding it difficult to sit down and write something that’s worthy of being read.

I can’t seem to explain.

Then I Face-Timed with Zoe for a while and realized I didn’t have to fully explain because it could never fully be understood, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t try. Continue reading

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Fight or Flight?

blog1“Max! Max! Ms. Burnsky said we have a meeting. Do you think someone is coming to meet us?” I yelled, throwing open the door to our small bedroom. Max was laying on her back, hands crossed over her stomach, staring at the ceiling. She looked like she was waiting for death. It was freaky. I poked at her. “Max…”

“Leave me alone, Ash. I’m tired.”

“But, Max… Ms. Bur-”

“I don’t care what she said.”

“What if someone wants to meet us?”

“No one wants to meet us, Ash. No one ever does.” Continue reading

The Travel Bug Bites Again

travelThere were so many good things about this last trip I went on. I was in England for ten days and met with old friends and met best friends for the first time. I fell in love with the city I’ve been in love with since I was a child. I squealed at every tea time and turned into a puddle with every charming accent. I stuck to purely British culture friendly food (which happens to not be out of my comfort zone… at all) and did my best not to stick out like a sore tourist thumb-except when I wanted to. Then I used the excuse, “but I’m an American”, to be loud and obnoxious. I took decent pictures and stole fantastic ones from my photographer sister. (@gems_intherough on instagram). I laughed with my family and explored with my new/old best friend. I didn’t run from life, I discovered it. And I fell in love. Continue reading