Searching

IMG_9710I’m really really tired.

Exhausted.

And not because I have a lot of stuff going on in my life. Actually, sort of the opposite.

On a personal level, I’m in one of the hardest transitioning periods ever. I think people tried to warn me with “Leaving College is hard,” and “Transitioning to adult life is challenging,” but I literally always went deaf to these warnings.

Not because I didn’t trust them, but because I wasn’t worried. I was in a great place, I knew what I wanted to do, I had/have tremendous trust and faith in God, and honestly, I just never really struggled when life changed dramatically. I craved change and handled it in stride. I found jobs and passions so easily I didn’t realize how hard it can be and usually is. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening.

Now that I’m here, job searching, church searching, apartment searching, friend searching, soul searching, I’m tired. Continue reading

Dear Me,

13220928_10206430368264802_1748868404462497146_nYou may have looked in the mirror before and hated what you saw. You may have pulled on her skin and sucked in as hard as you could, wishing more than anything to look like the people on TV. You may have even decided skipping dinner and maybe tomorrow’s lunch, would somehow heighten your worth.

You’ve probably questioned your worth.

Asked yourself who really cares. Wondered what your impact in the world was. If you were never born, what difference would it make, really? Continue reading

Am I worth it?

12471922_10205485398321144_1405547821529176822_o“I don’t want him to try to love me. I don’t want to be ‘worth a shot’. I want to be magnificent.”

“You are magnificent.”

“You have to say that.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. You’re my brother.”

“So I, more than anyone, know how much of a mess you are.” Continue reading