I have to give my roommate, Zoe, so much credit for my thoughts. They’re my thoughts, my opinions, my feelings and emotions but more than 80% of the time, conversations with Zoe helps me understand them. I could have a huge, pressing problem that I wouldn’t know about until Zoe helps me sort through my feelings. I’m getting better at it, my emotional maturity is slowly getting higher and my vocabulary to explain my thoughts is growing, but I still rely on Zoe or my counselor to help me through the jumbled mess in my mind. It takes multiple conversation’s sitting on my counselors couch or on Zoe’s bed for me to be able to say out loud “Oh yeah, I’m really insecure about that.” And then Zoe just laughs and goes, “I’ve been telling you that for years.” Continue reading →
I was looking at how many views my blog gets, and I noticed something.
The more personal a post, the more views it gets. If I really get uncomfortable, the amount of views shoots skyward. This was not good news to me. I was not excited. I did not go “Oh, well then I definitely need to start being more personal!” because no. That’s not something I do. It’s not something I can handle. In fact, the idea wakes up my anxiety and gets it screaming again. I have to calm myself down. And recently I found out why.